The Anything Goes Harem
by Tankou001
Summary: Ranma knew that he had a few fiances here and there. Nothing could truly ready him, however, for the quality of women he would be getting. A visit from ninjas teaches him better. M for super harem, language, super citrusy goodness and everything else!


The Anything Goes Harem

A Ranma Harem Crossover

Hey All! Tankou001 here with an all new fanfiction! Anyone who knows about me in any way knows my particular dislikes, at least on the large scale. I hate NaruHina, sleep, ChouIno, One Shots that have sex in them and some other select things. Over the years I have developed a strong hatred of ridiculous crossovers but, I must admit, I have fallen into madness! Ranma ½ was the first anime I ever watched. My sister showed it to me when I was only so tall (holds hand about three feet off the ground). Okay, maybe not quite that small but certainly ten years ago, so I was still pretty little anyway XD Recently I have picked up Ranma again to seek the previous enjoyment of the series and I have found no lack of entertainment from it after ten years of absence XP

That all said and done you guys know my insanity as well as my love of Naruto. This Fic is going to be a lovely little crossover of Naruto and Ranma ½. Now I know it's hard to imagine the world of Naruto and the world of Ranma ½ melding together. I'll tell ya it took me a good thirty minutes thinking of some way to bind the two series based around Naruto's innate lack of meaningful technology. (I cannot stress enough my annoyance at the fact that the Narutoverse has televisions, phones and fridges but not cars) However, in the Ranmaverse, when something can't be explained by normal crap, follow the default rule! It comes from China! That's right! Who would have thought that all of the Naruto cast come from China? I am going to hell for my blasphemy but I think I'll pull a Zabuza and just take over. For those of you confused at that reference see my fic, The Tailed Beasts Tamed!

Know, all of you, that the Naruto rookies are all seventeen. This means they will match Ranma's age by a ways through the series after a good deal of the Ranma characters have already been introduced! For the most part, age everyone else in the Narutoverse accordingly save for when I say otherwise through the fic. I DO plan to mess with some of the characters for my own amusement! (Writer's got to like his own work too!)

Like Animal Magnetism, I plan to have every chapter for the next MANY chapters having a lemon, just to alert you guys of your immediate futures upon reading this.

Ranma ½ and all of it's characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Naruto and all of it's characters belong to Misashi Kishimoto. Any OC's in this fic belong to me, or may be subject to disclaiming if they don't XP

Enjoy The Anything Goes Harem!

{HR}

Chapter One: Anything Goes Sisters!

"Get Back Here, Old Man!" An angry, feminine voice called out through the streets of Furinken. A giant panda leaped through the streets, chased close behind by a redheaded pig tailed girl. "You did it again, didn't you!?!" The panda in the lead flew to a roof top and the redhead leaped after him. However, the roof gave in. Through the dilapidated old building the pair fell and, when all was said and done the redhead was standing tall above the prone panda, a look more fierce than the angriest tiger about her face. "You signed me up for another woman that you decided not to tell me about until now, didn't you?"

The panda held up a sign that read "I don't know what you could mean."

"Don't play with me, old man!" The redhead screamed, stepping on the vast gut of the panda. "What kind of crazy heir to what dojo did you sign me up for now? When was it that you let it all go? How many meals was I worth to you this time around?!?"

"Ranma!" Another feminine voice called. "Come back home! You're making a scene!"

The redhead turned to look at a short haired woman, now standing at the edge of the building that was rubble. "S-Sorry Akane." Ranma spoke up, grabbing the panda by the fur and dragging him out of the rubble.

An hour later the three had returned to their home, The Tendo Training Hall. Ranma, the former redhead, was now a man with black hair and a similar hair style. The panda, Saotomei Genma, was now a tall, well built man for his age, though bald and wearing glasses. Ranma wore a scowl and Genma wore a serious look. "Ranma, I swear it was a matter of necessity." The old man spoke up before a fist came into his temple.

"How many women have you promised me to, old man?" Ranma asked

"Such questions are unneeded, Ranma! This is part of your training as the heir to the Saotomei Anything Goes School Of Martia--" A hard punch broke off Genma 's words as he spoke.

Ranma stood and walked off from the table. He needed to relax somewhere. A hot bath would do wonders. Ten minutes later Ranma dipped into the bath, a sigh of relief as he sank neck deep into the hot water. "Stupid old man," Ranma muttered under his breath, "Can't believe my whole life is about marriage promises to girls I never knew..."

"Get used to it." A feminine, though slightly monotone voice let out. "It's how the Head Family works..."

Ranma nodded empathetically and suddenly realized that something was decidedly wrong. His eyes snapped open and he bore witness to a young woman in front of him, body nude as she sank into the bath in front of him. Her eyes were near white, a hint of lavender in them, though completely without pupil. Her hair was long and black and her chest was probably larger than the chst of Ranma in his female form. Ranma gave a cry of shock and yelled out at the sudden intruder. "Who are you? What are you doin in the bath!?!"

The young woman looked at Ranma with minor irritation. "My name is Hyuuga Hanabi. You are, if you choose me over my sister, my new husband."

The bathroom door slammed open, Akane on thje other side with another woman. This one seemed near identical to the woman who now shared the bath with Ranma, though she was quite a bit taller and was fully clothed. She looked quite embarrassed at the current situation. "Ranma!" Akane yelled out, stepping forward. "What is the meaning of this?!?" Akane cried as her foot made impact with Ranma's face.

Later on the news was revealed with the arrival of a tall man with white eyes and a constant look of political seriousness. His name was Hyuuga Hiashi, a man from China, so it appeared, who Genma had made a promise to years ago, when Ranma was just a child. "You, Saotomei Genma, swore that when our children came of age that your son and one of my daughters would be wed. Tell me if my memory fails me."

Genma sat seriously, facing Hiashi as though they were equals. Ranma knew better. Hiashi had all the credibility in this situation, just like in every situation where some crazy fiance appeared, this was yet another time where Ranma had been promised and Genma had run off on the deal. "I will not deny that happened, Hiashi-san. However, the situation is much more complicated than would be expected."

Hiashi stood tall suddenly, staring Genma down. "Genma-san, what do you mean by this? Are you to tell me that I brought my two daughters all the way from China only to find that your son has been promised to someone else? This is unacceptable."

Tendo Soun, Akane's father, suddenly stepped in at these words. "Hyuuga-san," All eyes went to Soun, "My daughter, Akane, has already been engaged to Ranma. I am sorry to inform you that you have come too late to claim your promise. Please, go back home to China."

"This is insulting!" Hiashi yelled out, somehow seeming completely calm and collected despite his angry cries. "I traveled here, with my daughters, from China to make good on Genma-san's promise from fifteen years ago. I will not leave this place until our deal has been settled!"

"And I told you," Soun stepped up to Hiashi, "That Akane is already promised to Ranma! Please leave this dojo at once!"

Hiashi gave an irritated stare at Soun and then turned to Genma. "I hope you know that this isn't over, Genma-san." Hiashi spoke up. "Hanabi, Hinata, we're leaving. It seems we have worn out our welcome here for tonight. We shall return at a later date... When the situation has become more reasonable." Immediately the three left.

Ranma looked at Genma, a stare that would kill were looks capable of such things. "So, old man, how is the situation complicated this time? Care to tell me the story behind this all?"

Genma suddenly looked worried, his facade of seriousness and confidence shattered with Ranma's two short sentences. "Well, you see Ranma, my boy, it is a rather long story! You probably don't want to know such things."

Soun was the one to cut in. "No please, Saotomei, tell us about these complicated promises."

Genma looked back up to Soun and gave a nervous laugh. "Well... I suppose I could talk... if just this once. Where shall I begin?" Genma cleared his throat before speaking. "It was fifteen years ago, when Ranma was but two years old." Genma reached forward on the table everyone was sitting at for a rice ball, something Ranma took right away, giving a stare that spoke so clearly to Genma that his job was speaking, not eating, that words needed not be spoken. "We had fallen on rather hard times back then, as you may have guessed. I was starving near to death and poor Ranma was hanging on by the very last strings of life as we traveled along the mountains. Fortunately I found Hiashi-san. In exchange for feeding me and tending for poor Ranma I agreed that, when his daughters were grown, that Ranma would marry one of them, whichever he liked best. And that's how it happened."

Ranma dealt a hard punch to the top of his father's head. "That hardly sounds like a long story, Pop..." Ranma looked at Akane, who stood in the doorway of the room. "Listen," Ranma started, "I didn't sign up for this stuff. Now I have to deal with two more crazy women that I didn't know existed until tonight. Not to mention one of them jumped in the bath with me."

"Not to mention Ranma is engaged to Akane, Saotomei!" Soun put in.

"It's alright..." Akane muttered at the door. "He can do whatever he wants," She started softly. "Because it's not like he won't just toss them aside with the next fiance!" With that Akane tossed a chair Ranma's way and slammed the door behind her. Ranma took the chair to the face, as would be expected, reacting violently with yelling and stomping out of the opposite door. He needed a walk. He needed to get rid of all of this nonsense!

An hour later Ranma found himself walking through Furinken with absolutely no destination in mind. He had thought briefly about the Cat Cafe but Cologne, Mousse and Shampoo would surely not help. Doctor Tofu wouldn't be available so late. There really was nowhere else to go aside from back to the Tendo Dojo. Ranma sat on a bench at the park, heaving a sigh. "Umm... E-Excuse me?" Ranma jumped a little as he looked up to a girl. He remembered her as Hyuuga Hinata, one of Hiashi's daughters. She was just under Ranma's own height with long black hair and eyes that were nearly white with just the slightest touch of lavender in them. "C-Could I sit d-down with you?"

Ranma blushed a bit. Hinata was pretty cute, now that he looked at her in an environment less hostile than the dojo. "Ya, I don't got a problem with it, I guess." Hinata sat down hesitantly. "You're dad's a real tough guy isn't he?" Ranma asked with a slight smile. That was, after all, his main specialty. He could cover up anything with sly remarks and sarcasm, no matter how grim the situation.

Hinata blushed at this, very content in staring straight at the ground at her feet. "He's a very good father. He... He cares for us... I know it. I... I'm s-sorry about Hanabi."

"No problem... You'd be surprised at how used to a woman's body I am." Ranma let out before realizing just how perverse his words sounded. Hinata's face went completely red and Ranma struggled to regain the clearly lost ground. "It's not what you might think! It's a complicated kind of thing!"

Hinata looked up at Ranma, her face the color of beets. "Wh-What do you mean then?"

Ranma hesitated. "Maybe some day I'll show ya... But now's not exactly the time. It's late. Shouldn't you be with your family?"

Hinata shook her head lightly. "I'm just out f-for a walk. I've n-never seen a city before, nothing like this."

"Whatya mean?" Ranma asked

"F-for instance... I've never seen carriages drive around without horses..." Hinata muttered. "And it's just so... strange. Computers are so small here... Televisions are commonplace. Everything is so... I don't know the word."

Ranma was stumped as to what this girl meant. Didn't every place in the world have cars? The way she spoke of computers it seemed like she came from the seventies. She sounded like she came from a little rural community from decades ago. "I don't know whatya mean. Maybe... Modern?"

Hinata looked confused. "Konoha is very modern. This place is... so far ahead of Konoha though. Nobody here uses ninjutsu either. I'm used to seeing ninja around big places like this."

Ranma blinked at this. Where was Konoha? What did she mean by ninjutsu? What was she talking about when she mentioned ninja? Ranma knew about ninja, of course. Crazy guys in black who jumped from roof to roof and killed people back in the old times of japan. "Well I don't know what your talkin about. I haven't seen any ninjas around. Normally you just see martial artists and sports jocks like me around nowadays. You sound like you come from some other time. Whatya mean by ninjutsu, anyway?"

Hinata looked at Ranma with a bit more confusion than before. "Ninjutsu... You don't know what that is?"

Ranma shook his head. "Nope. Just good old fashion martial arts. Surely you've done some kinda martial arts yourself. I doubt that your dad's the kind of guy who would hold back that kinda stuff from you. Not to mention all of my other promised girls are crazy martial artists anyway..." Ranma mumbled the last part so that Hinata couldn't hear him.

Hinata nodded a bit. "The Hyuuga do juuken and most of us are ninja."

Ranma smiled. "Care for a couple rounds, then? I could use some time to loosen up and relieve some tension. I promise I'll go easy on ya."

Hinata blushed and stood, taking a few steps away as Ranma moved the opposite direction after standing as well. "I.. I hope I don't hurt you. I'm sorry if I do..." She said. Ranma gave a short chuckle. This girl wasn't all that bad, despite her shyness. Ranma took a few steps forward. He would end this quickly enough to show off and make sure Hinata didn't get hurt. He wasn't a total jerk, after all. Hinata simply put her hands together and moved them about against the other hand before speaking just as Ranma closed in. "Suiton: Blast Wave." From Hinata mouth flew a burst of water that drove Ranma backward, slamming him into a nearby tree. Now female, Ranma let out a groan. What had just happened. Ranma, of course, wasn't hurt. No, she was too in shock to move. Had that woman just spewed gallons upon gallons of water from her mouth like a geyser? Any way you looked at it that kind of thing was sort of disgusting. Hinata rushed up to Ranma and gasped, seeing her now as a woman. "Are... Are you alright? W-Where did Ranma-san go?"

Ranma looked up at Hinata. Then she leaped to her feet and yelled out. "Where did you learn to do that?!?" Ranma had tangled with Cologne before and seen her special techniques to manipulate ice and water and snow and such. However, she hadn't ever made water out of nothing. She hadn't ever learned that sort of thing. "I didn't know you could just blast someone with water like that from your mouth! Can you teach people that kind of stuff? Can you do it with fire, like street performers?"

Hinata recoiled almost immediately. "I... Who are you, might I ask?"

Ranma hesitated. "Well... Hinata-chan.... I'm Ranma. This is how I knew about a woman's body."

Hinata looked horrified. "You mean... Y-You're really a woman? B-but... Father was sure you were a m-man!"

Ranma waved her hands about. "No! I'm a guy! I just had some... unfortunate stuff happen to me a while back." Hinata sat down on the park bench in confusion and shock. Ranma sat next to her. "Me and Pop own the Saotomei School Of Anything Goes Martial Arts." Hinata nodded blankly. "Way back when, we went to China to a place called Jusenkyo Cursed Springs. It's a training ground. We didn't listen to the guide. My dad fell in a spring and it turned him into a huge panda... He knocked me into a spring and I came out a girl... Like I am now. Now, whenever I touch cold water I turn into a girl... But when I get hot water on me I turn back into a guy. See what I'm sayin?"

Hinata still looked very confused. "I don't understand... How does that make sense?"

"How do you make water fly out of your mouth like that?"

"Th-That's jutsu. What you are seems like magic... But that can't be."

Ranma blinked. "Well what you have seems a lot more like magic than changing like I do... Though I won't deny that what I got is magic... or at least I think it is."

Hinata turned to Ranma. "That can't be! Magic d-doesn't exist! This has to be some kind of jutsu!"

Ranma nearly fell off the bench as Hinata cried out at him. "Well... What are jutsu?"

Hinata calmed down a bit. "Ninjutsu, the arts of ninjas. We use chakra, the energy within us and, combined with physical and spiritual energy, we make jutsu. It normally requires a physical component, normally hand seals, and a verbal component in the name of the jutsu. It's not magic. It's a science, an art."

Ranma gave a chuckle. "Sounds a lot like magic to me. Listen, Hinata-chan, I never wanted this. I never wanted to be a girl for any amount of time. It's horrible to be a girl..." Hinata gave a hurt look and Ranma spoke up quickly, "I mean! It's horrible to be a girl when you're so used to being a guy! I'm pretty sure you would hate to be forced to be a guy after being a girl all your life, right?"

Hinata blushed at this. "I s-suppose."

Suddenly a figure appeared right next to Ranma. Hinata froze as Ranma sensed it, looking over. It was Hanabi, now fully dressed, unlike the first meeting with Ranma. "Hinata. I was looking for you. Who is this?"

"This is..." Hinata hesitated.

Ranma sighed. If he was to tell one sister, why not the other. It would make things all the more easy to end the engagement. "I'm Saotomei Ranma. You're Hanabi-chan, right?"

Hanabi gave Ranma a blank look. "Is this Henge? I recall Uzumaki using this at one point."

"Henge?" Ranma asked

"N-No!" Hinata cried out immediately, "This is... something else. I think it's some kind of jutsu... but I don't know."

"What do you mean? The Saotomei Ranma I saw was a man. The only other way for him to appear as a woman would be henge." Hanabi spoke up, her tone harsh and inhumanly cold. "Please release your jutsu right now, Ranma-san."

Ranma chuckled at this. "Sorry, no can do unless you happen to have a kettle of hot water around. Where's your dad?"

Hanabi looked confused, though only just a bit. "My father's location is not your business. I do not have any hot water with me. Why can you not change back?"

"It's how the curse works." Ranma said simply. "You know, you're almost as uncute as Akane is." Though Ranma was only speaking of Hanabi's attitude. Unlike Akane's uncuteness, Hanabi was rather well formed. She was rather short, however, barely reaching five feet tall. Still, she had the body of a very well developed woman, certainly able to outstrip Ranma's own female body in feminine features, just like Hinata was. "You better follow your big sister back home. Feel free to tell your dad that I'm like this. Probably he'll call off the deal with Pops."

Hanabi gave a frown. "She is only my older sister by a few minutes, Saotomei-san...." Hanabi put in with a bitter tone. "We are twins, though it may not seem so." Ranma was a bit taken aback at this news. They looked so different. "Judging by your lackluster expression of stupidity I am guessing you question the terms of our birth. We are fraternal twins, not identical. If you need question it further I am sure you could take it up with our father. Beside that point I am sure Father would like to see you for himself. You will come with us, if you please."

Ranma stood ready but didn't see Hanabi's movement as she took three fast strides toward her and drove a palm into her gut. Ranma staggered as Hanabi moved in again. Hinata cried in shock behind her but this didn't stop the shorter sister. When Hanabi was done with her battery of attacks Ranma's whole body was stiff, she couldn't move. Soon enough she was dragged off by Hanabi, Hinata complaining the whole time. It was kidnapping, she said. It was improper and impolite. Hanabi ignored her sister's complaints. Soon enough they had arrived at some big mansion. Ranma's ears were marred by the sound of an unfortunately familiar voice. "Pig Tailed Girl!" Ranma wished she could have made a motion of disgust. The voice belonged to Kuno Tatewaki , one of the idiots in Ranma's life. But why were they at the Kuno mansion?

"Calm yourself, Kuno-san." Hiashi's harsh voice came in. Who is this young woman? Hanabi, why have you brought a common woman into my presence?"

"There is something you need know about this woman, father. Kuno-san, may we obtain privacy within your dwelling?" Hanabi spoke boldly

Kuno seemed hesitant in the distance. Ranma wished she could see what was going on. Soon enough, however, there was a sudden relief. Ranma's muscles began to relax and she was able to move again, A pair of feminine hands handling her like a masseuse, if just a bit more roughly. With a last, relieving pop Ranma could again freely move, looking up at Hiashi. Hiashi's cold stare set down upon Ranma like a falcon eyeing a kill. "Tell me what my daughters wish me to know about you, woman..."

Ranma chuckled a bit, straightening up a bit. "Well, old man. You see you made a bit of a mistake when you decided to come to Japan to claim me. Guess ya don't see the resemblence. I'm Saotomei Ranma, the boy who is supposedly promised to your daughters. Bit of a shock, isn't it?"

Hiashi's stare lasted perhaps a minute, as though trying to shake the disbelief he was masking so well. "Surely this is a trick by genjutsu or Henge. Hanabi, haven't you checked such things yet?" Hiashi placed his hands together, muttering "Kai." Nothing seemed to happen and Ranma just smiled. "Release your henge this moment, boy. If you are who you say you are you must provide evidence. If you think this is some kind of joke I can assure you I don't have a very well developed sense of humor."

"On the contrary, Father." Hanabi cut in blandly. "If this had been henge it would have been released as soon as she was rendered paralyzed. This must be a genuine truth. Hinata-nee tells me that this is the real Saotomei Ranma. Saotomei-san, if she is who she says, has informed me that hot water is the answer to this situation."

"Then retrieve some heated water. I wish to see this for myself." Hiashi ordered. Five minutes later Ranma was handed a kettle of hot water. "Now you have what you supposedly need, woman. Show us this ability of yours, if it is a true one."

Ranma smiled. As soon as the old man saw this it would no doubt be over between the two families. What insane old man would want to marry his daughters off to a man who was half girl? Ranma poured the hot water over herself and was then a man afterward. "There ya have it," he said bluntly, "I guess, seein as I'm half girl, and all, ya don't want me as your son in law. I'm glad we had this little party. So you'll be goin back to China now, right?"

Hiashi looked at Ranma with amazement, making no attempt to mask it. He stepped forward and prodded Ranma a bit at the obvious feminine locations. Thankfully he didn't bother feeling around between Ranma's legs. "Is..." Hiashi started, "Is the change a genuine one?"

"So far as I know." Ranma stated, a little creeped out at this point.

"This is truly an incredible kekkei genkai. If I had known the Soatomei family had such a potent kekkei genkai I would have been much more forceful in the arrangements when I first visited. Does your father do the same thing?" Hiashi said, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face.

Ranma hesitated. Would it be wise to tell him? "Well.. Pops actually turns into a panda."

"So it doesn't only limit on the human body?" Hiashi cut in. "Is it possible that you can accurately change into anything else?" Ranma shook his head nervously. Hiashi made a face of slight disappointment. "I suppose you wouldn't be able to yet. No doubt you are too young to accurately use your kekkei genkai outside of human kind."

Ranma realized that this was gettin far too out of hand. "Listen, old man!" Ranma started. "This isn't somethin I like! I didn't want this to happen to me! It just happened!"

Hiashi raised an eyebrow. "Please explain, Ranma-san."

Ranma sighed. "When I visited China a while back with my dad we visited this place called Jusenkyo. I fell into a spring that turned me into a girl. My dad fell into a spring that turned him into a panda."

Hiashi's already raised eyebrow seemed to nearly lift off his forehead. "So your clan uses these pools of water to tap into their inherent kekkei genkai? That makes sense. No doubt it is a powerful chakra enhanced spring system that allows your kekkei genkai to bloom fully. Am I to understand that this can only turn you into one sort of being?"

Ranma paused. "Well one at a time I guess... Wait! That's not it! They're these crazy magic springs where things drowned or somethin! A girl drowned in the spring that I fell in! That's why, when I fell in it, I turned into a stupid girl!"

Hiashi nodded in seeming understanding. "Your kekkei genkai seems to be a very complicated one. However, with complication comes power. I, now more than ever, am sure I would be glad to bring you into the Hyuuga Clan. Surely this is a very potent and powerful kekkei genkai." Hiashi finished, his arms crossed in contemplation, his eyes closed as he thought about this. "Do you know if there could be any way that your father would allow me to arrange a marriage to one of my daughters? I can promise you that you will get your choice of whichever of the two you prefer."

Hinata blushed wildly at this while Hanabi kept her completely blank expression. Ranma, unconsciously, looked each one up and down. He had to say Hinata was certainly the most alluring as far as personality went. She was shy and gentle, delicate. Probably could cook well, at least a lot better than Akane could. Hanabi, on the other hand, seemed more independant. No doubt she wouldn't be as clingy as Shampoo or Kodachi was and certainly she'd be less of a clutz than Akane. She was also pretty cute too. She certainly looked easier to pick up than Hinata, just because she was shorter and slimmer. Ranma shook the thought from his head, however. This was not the time to be thinking about these kinds of things. Hiashi had completely misunderstood everything! "Listen old man! This isn't something to be debated! Why is everyone wanting me to marry someone else, huh?!? Did you even hear what I said? Your guessing is wrong! I didn't choose this!"

The door opened and all eyes went to it. Kuno was standing right there, anger filling his eyes. "Soatomei Ranma! What are you doing spreading the festering rot of your existence into my home? Where have you taken the Pig Tailed Girl?!?" At once Ranma got to his feet, leaping out of the way of Kuno's attack. Hiashi stood and yelled angrily but Kuno refused to hear it. The attacks went on until Hanabi and Hinata stepped in, Kuno stopping right away. Ranma saw his opening, slamming a foot down against the top of his head, knocking the kendo master out.

Hiashi stared at Ranma. "Am I to assume that he isn't aware of your kekkei genkai?"

"Not for lack of trying to tell him... The guy's an idiot. He just hears what he wants to hear." Ranma said, sitting down on the floor again. "Now let me get this across to you, old man. This isn't a kekkei whatever! This is a curse by some magical springs. I just want to become a man again! Do you know how horrible it is to be a girl after being a guy your whole life?"

Hiashi nodded as though he understood. "It must be a wonderful form of stealth and assassination. Surely you must use your kekkei genkai to full effect in tricky positions. I would like to know more about it. How do you trigger it? Is it the way you use water, like you showed us before?"

Ranma had had enough. "You're not listening! Do I have to beat some sense into your head, old man?"

Hiashi stood abruptly. "You are correct. Perhaps the best way of showing this kekkei genkai's full effects would be through combat. Let us move to a more suitable location. Let us make a deal then." Ranma blinked as Hiashi started walking out of the room. "If I am the victor you shall have a two month period of courting my daughters before you choose which one you will marry. You will leave that common woman at the Tendo Dojo behind and marry one of my daughters. Furthermore, you will inform me further on your kekkei genkai if I have any more questions about it."

Ranma gave a growl from deep within his throat. There was no getting it across to this man was there? Ranma guessed fighting would be the best way to get his message across. Popping the knuckles in his hand as he followed Hiashi to the dojo area of the Kuno mansion, he spoke up. "Alright, but if I beat you, old man, you'll give up on all of this. You'll go back to China and you'll bring me with you too. I have some business in China I need to take care of."

Hiashi looked at Ranma as they arrived in the dojo. "How about I make you a short promise before we start this? I'll get you to China just fine if you marry one of my daughters. Both of us win."

Ranma growled again, leaping forward. "You're just not getting it, old man!" He reached out and Hiashi dodged nimbly to the side. Of course Ranma wasn't thinking he could be defeated. This was an old man, there was no way he could beat Ranma. "I'll finish this off quick, old man! Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire!!" Ranma's hands flew forth, a barrage of lightning fast punches that would prove to take Hiashi out. However, Hiashi turned on a heel and spun, a great blue sphere of energy bursting out and striking Ranma down. He got back up immediately but was still shocked at the display. What had that been?

"Your attack is a good one, Ranma-san," Hiashi spoke, "But it isn't good enough to defeat me. You'll have to use your kekkei genkai to good effect if you hope to defeat the Byakugan." Hiashi's eyes were more pronounced now. There were veins spreading sideward from his eyes, a mildly unnerving display for Ranma. "Katon: Endan!" From Hiashi's mouth flew a great ball of fire that Ranma barely dodged. So they could spit fire. Did that mean that this was all just a magic trick? No, of course not. No human could store as much water in their mouth as Hinata had and Ranma hadn't seen anything that would make it look like Hiashi put something flamable into his mouth to catch alight. This was something serious.

Ranma cringed as Hiashi sent another blast of fire his direction. It seemed Hinata herself was at the side lines, putting out any fires that were starting in the dojo after Hiashi launched them. If Hiashi wanted to see Ranma's "kekkei genkai" he would get it. Just as Hinata went to put out another fire Ranma rolled through the stream of water from her mouth, turning into a girl again. "There! I transformed, just like you wanted!" She cried, rolling forward.

"Very good, Ranma-san" Hiashi called out, doing something strange with his hands. "But let me see the practical uses in combat. Raiton: Binding Arrows Of Light." Hiashi's hands glowed white and Ranma stepped forward. It seemed, however, that Ranma had run right into Hiashi's trap. Hiashi's palm went out and struck Ranma hard in the chest. Suddenly, bright ropes of light extended out from the impact sight and wrapped around Ranma's body. Struggling, Ranma tried to step backward but fell, her legs tied up by whatever Hiashi had done to her. Hiashi put a foot on Ranma's throat. "You have a long way to go, Ranma-san, if this was your best. You do, however, have promise. You first technique was impressive and fast. You should have used some ninjutsu in your fight, though. This victory is mine. You did agree to the terms, after all."

Ranma hesitated. "C-Can't we... I dunno, Talk it over?"

Hiashi's cold stare hit Ranma hard as a boulder. "We have talked it over, Ranma-san. You agreed with our deal. It is final. You will choose one of my daughters to marry by the end of two months. You may leave this place now and return to your current home." Ranma gave Hiashi a look of hatred but the elder Hyuuga just turned and began to leave the dojo area. "Look at the more positive side of this, Ranma-san. You get to go to China. You said you had business there. Now you may take care of it." Ranma's eyes locked on the Hyuuga as he stepped out, full of anger and hatred as the bright ropes of light just disappeared from her form.

"YOU WHAT?!?" Genma roared in anger and confusion. "How could you do this, Ranma?!? I can't believe you challenged Hyuuga Hiashi to a duel!"

Ranma sat in the Tendo Dojo, nary a scratch on him from the battle. It had been too easy for Hiashi to defeat him and now Ranma, turned back into a man, sat in defeat, listening to the going-ons of his father. "I thought I could win, alright? He didn't seem too strong to me!" Ranma yelled at Genma. "He surprised me is all! Next time I'll blow him out of town!"

The voice of an old woman sounded at the door. "Do you really think there will be a next time, Son-In-Law?" Ranma turned to see Cologne, Shampoo's great grandmother. She had taught Ranma the Chestnuts technique in the first place, just so that he could fight her. "You're talking about the leader of the Hyuuga Clan. They have strange powers beyond yours. There's no way you'll ever be on par with Hyuuga Hiashi."

Ranma stood up. "What are you doing here, you old ghoul!?! you just wait! Soon enough I'll catch him by surprise and--"

"That's not possible, Sonny Boy." Cologne said loudly, thumping Ranma on the head with her staff. "The Hyuuga eyes don't just see forward. They see 360 degrees. Everything around them for thirty feet is always in full view to them if they choose to stay alert... And Hyuuga Hiashi is always alert. You need to sit down and listen to what I have to say. I don't know any way to help you beat a Hyuuga, nor do I want to try. However, I do want to tell you what you had just offered yourself up to. You've heard of ninja, right?"

Ranma nodded. "Ya, crazy black suited assassins of old japan or somethin, right?"

"Normally you would be right," Cologne started, "However, these ninja are different. Long ago, when the ninja were starting to disappear from Japan. When western influence was approaching, many ninja of Japan fled to mainland China. They went high into the mountains and built villages of their own which still exist in great secrecy. These are known as The Hidden Villages. We don't know how many exist but they are all very private places and no doubt more numerous than we may suspect. The ninja who fled to China and made their villages somehow achieved great power from the nearby wilderness and became the ninja they all are now. They gained things called Kekkei Genkai. These are abilities passed down through special clans, like the Hyuuga. They have some technology, maybe fourty years before our own but they don't have automobiles. I assume they never found use for them, they move so fast and through all terrain. To them the rest of the world is both mystery and blasphemy. To the rest of the world they are both mystery and fantasy. What they do, no matter how magical it may seem, they insist is not magic at all. They call it Genjutsu and Ninjutsu. Any martial artist worth his time would be known as a taijutsu master to them. These are their three major forms of techniques. I am guessing, if you fought Hyuuga Hiashi, you know what I'm talking about, eh Sonny Boy?"

Ranma humphed. "Ya, he blew fire out of his mouth and tied me up with ropes of pure light like they were solid and then, when he left, they disappeared. His daughter blew hundreds of gallons of water at me from her mouth too. Crazy people, all of 'em."

"And now you're going to live with them." Cologne added. Ranma gave her a look of horror. "Don't worry, Sonny Boy, I think I could stick up for you... maybe. You already belong to Shampoo, anyway. Three thousand years of Chinese amazon history ain't for nothing, after all."

Ranma suddenly felt better. "Well, as long as I have you around, old ghoul, I'm sure it'll all be fine!"

Suddenly something hit Ranma's back, a high voice accompanying the attack. "Aiya! Shampoo so happy Ranma love her more than silly ninja girl!"

Ranma shook in surprise. "Shampoo, where'd you come from?!? Why are you here?"

It was right then that Akane walked in, bearing witness to Shampoo hanging off of Ranma's sitting figure. "Oh, I see." She started. "You just can't have enough, can you? Two Chinese girls aren't enough so yo need a third to add to your collection. Let's see if there's more room after you move to China with them!" Then the throwing started. Akane finally finished off her barrage at Ranma with a table and then was off again, angry as usual.

Ranma had had enough by now. "That's it!" He screamed, climbing out of the rubble of thrown items. "Everybody leave me alone! Next person to talk to me gets punched in the gut! I'm usin' the bath!" Ranma tromped off to the bath, unable to control his anger anymore. He sank into he heated water and sighed, just as earlier that very night. Why was everyone so screwed up? Everyone just wanted to make him the victim, didn't they, especially Akane. "She is so uncute..." he muttered under his breath.

"To be honest I don't mind her looks." A voice sounded from nowhere, making Ranma jump a bit. "Though her attitude leaves something to be desired." None other than Hyuuga Hanabi mysteriously formed in front of Ranma at that moment, appearing from thin air. Ranma was shocked stupid. "Would you like me to wash your back, Ranma-san? Perhaps I could give you a massage or retrieve you a cool drink."

"Maybe you could get out of my bath!" Ranma yelled. It was happening again! Had Ranma fallen through time and space and now was forced to relive the events of earlier?

Hanabi seemed a little confused, though her face was, as usual, completely void of emotion for the most part. "I don't quite understand, Ranma-san. If I am to be your wife such occurences should become normal. I have been instructed to make sure you show interest in me and thus human bodily contact and proximity is the very best way to achieve my goals of swaying you to marry me."

"It doesn't matter!" Ranma yelled. "You don't belong in my bath and we're not gonna get married!"

"Are you saying you have already made the choice of my sister?" Hanabi asked. "Is there any way I could change your mind?"

Ranma backed up against the wall of the tub. "That's not it, I tell ya! I'm not gettin married to noone! I didn't ask for this! I don't see why my dad's mistakes have to be my problems!"

Hanabi sighed, sitting back in the deep, large tub. "I suppose I can understand your reasoning. I too, have been forced into this situation. I want you to know that I have no emotional attachment to you, nor do I find you sexually attractive. On the contrary, my desire to be married to you is strictly for the benefit of excellent genes among the Hyuuga line, which yours, according to father, fit. Now that we have found out about your interesting kekkei genkai, it is more than proven. Tell me... is there a way you could change back into a woman right now?"

Ranma was insulted. He thought he was good looking enough for anyone. Who was this girl to say Ranma wasn't attractive? "Hey! I look great, I'll have you know! I bet, if I wasn't already engaged, I'd have girls all over me!" Not that girls weren't already all over him all the time anyway. Hanabi gave Ranma a blank stare for a bit. He couldn't figure out what she was thinking at all. "And no I can't turn back unless you like cold baths."

"I don't mind." Hanabi stated. "Bathing is for cleanliness, nothing more. There would be no need to differenciate between hot and cold water so long as I became clean in the process. You have already taken a bath tonight, Ranma-san. Why are you again bathing?"

"Because it feels good to sit in the bath and relax..." Ranma stated. "Could you... get out?"

"I would rather not. I don't want to miss a moment that I could otherwise be using to further my romantic goals towards getting you to choose me over my sister." Hanabi answered

Well, at least she was honest, even if blatantly so. Ranma had to admit, however, he was definitely liking the idea of Hinata's shyness over Hanabi's bluntness. Suddenly, however, Ranma heard a sound at the window. He reached out and dragged back in... an old man. It was Happosai, the master of Ranma and Akane's fathers. He was titled "The Most Dangerous Man In Japan," and Ranma knew exactly why that was after many months of dealing with him. "Oh hey, Ranma my boy! Who's this lovely blossom you're spending time with? Is she for my looking pleasure, perhaps? I knew you were on my side!" Before Ranma knew it Happosai was out of his hands, on a b-line for Hanabi's chest, which was somewhere just below the water's surface. Hanabi responded to the "attack" by thrusting out an arm, which Happosai nimbly dodged, though it did stop him from getting to his favorite location. "Oh, a frisky one we have here! This'll be fun!" Hanabi stood from the water, letting all be seen. Happosai grinned wide. "Maybe she's not all bad anyway! She just needed to steel her gentle nerves to show me her marvelous fo--"

Happosai was cut short from Hanabi's assault. Palm after palm drove the martial arts master into the bathroom wall, cracking the tile as she attacked. This was not a display of power or intimidation. Ranma could tell that Hanabi was not pulling her punches and that Happosai was certainly not pretending to take the damage. Sixty-four palm strikes later, Ranma counted, Hanabi stopped her attack. Happosai fell into the water and Ranma picked him out. "Throw him back where he came from, Ranma-san. He'll be fine, or so I would like to think." Ranma was stunned, looking at Happosai's unconscious form filled Ranma with fear. Could Hiashi had done that to him when they fought? Why hadn't anyone run into the bathroom yet? It had been maybe ten minutes since Hanabi had made herself appear. Where was everyone? Ranma would have readily welcomed Akane's normally unwanted intrusion right about now. "I am surprised that my genjutsu didn't affect him. Normally Mirja keeps everyone out of the area unless I designate them otherwise. Perhaps he used Kai. However, he's taken care of."

Hanabi slapped Happosai from Ranma's grip, throwing him out the window in the process. However, as she turned back to Ranma the door opened. Cologne balanced on her staff in the doorway. "So this is how your kind work, eh ninja?" She said.

Hanabi looked at the old woman. "I have no idea what you are talking about. Why have you intruded?"

"Because Saotomei Ranma is spoken for." Cologne replied

"That has already been corrected, old woman." Hanabi countered. "Ranma-san has already agreed to give up on Tendo Akane if my father beat him in combat."

"Which means nothing to me." Cologne spoke out. "My great granddaughter, Shampoo, is who he is marrying, not you or Akane or your sister."

"To be named after a hygeine product must be troublesome." Hanabi said blandly. "How about we settle this in a proper fashion." Hanabi leaned down low, getting into a fighting stance.

"Oh, I see how it will be. Though you're three hundred years too soon to put up a good fight against me, little girl!" Cologne spoke as she leaped forward. Hanabi stepped in and dodged the blow, going to strike at Cologne with the same attack that she had taken Happosai out with. Cologne, however, was ready for it. She dodged all of the blows and struck back. "You don't know what you're up against, little girl! You'll have to fight against three thousand years of history in this fight! Ultimate Amazon Technique: Liquid Agitation!" Cologne stepped toward Hanabi as the Hyuuga got a little distance in the tub. The old amazon touched the water and it boiled, the agitated water throwing Ranma out before it got too hot even for him.

Hanabi cried out in pain before jumping out of the tub as all of the water boiled away to nothing, filling the bathroom with steam, blocking Ranma's vision. "Raiton: Denkou Tosu." Hanabi's voice echoed, followed by the sound of coursing electricity. A blue light shown through the fog and Cologne spoke out. "Watch yourself, Sonny Boy!" As a bolt of lightning flew from wherever Hanabi was into the wall, destroying it instantly. Cologne leaped out of the bathroom and Hanabi followed, leaving Ranma alone to figure out what was happening. Still, he wouldn't just wait for it all to leave. What was this? Women who could blow out hundreds of gallons of water and other women who could throw lightning? Old men who could blow fire and make light solid as steel? What kind of martial arts were these? Ranma grabbed his clothes and leaped into the rain outside as he dressed in mid leap, turning into a girl as she did so. She couldn't miss this for the world!

Leaping after the pair of fighters and avoiding questioning by the other residents of the Tendo Dojo, Ranma spotted the fight. It wasn't very hard to miss after all. Hanabi looked like she was flying. She sometimes fell and sometimes gained altitude, all the while moving one horizontal direction or the other but she didn't touch the ground in between leaps. The lowest points of Hanabi's leaps were always at least ten feet off the ground. All the while Cologne followed with great leaps, barely dodging some unseen blows dealt by Hanabi which destroyed everything they touched, roofing exploding from the attacks. "This was already agreed on!" Ranma heard Hanabi yelling from afar. "I know not who this Shampoo is but she has no business in this affair."

"On the contrary, Little Girl," Cologne called out as she leaped up to Hanabi's location in the air. "My Granddaughter was betrothed to Ranma before you ever came on the scene. Neither you nor your sister have yet been engaged, so in a situation like this I'd say you're a little too slow to be claiming rights to his hand in marriage!"

Cologne went for another swing at Hanabi but a blast of water gushed from the streets below and struck Cologne out of the air. Ranma stopped on a nearby rooftop and looked down to see Hinata. "P-Please!" The shy woman called up as Hanabi and Cologne continued the fight, not noticing the other Hyuuga at all. "C-Can't we discuss th-this?"

It seemed, however, Hanabi realized her sister's presence. "Hinata-nee!" Hanabi called down as she dodged one of Cologne's staff attacks. "If this woman wins this fight there is a chance that neither of us will be wed to Ranma-san. Do you really want to let father down like that? This is your duty as a Hyuuga."

Ranma looked down at Hinata and hoped to everything that she wouldn't fall for such a thing. Ranma knew all about it. She had used the same sort of thing on Ryouga countless times, though it had been on a case of friendship rather than family ties. Hinata then got a look of determination, leaping to the rooftops to join the fight. Ranma groaned. Hinata had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. Cologne, however, laughed. "Ah, try to gain some years on your scale by calling in your sister? You're still two hundred years too soon! Raging Roof Tiles Attack!" Cologne landed and stepped on the roof that she had landed on, the roof tiles of the building stripping off and flying at both Hinata and Hanabi alike. Hanabi spun, just as her father had while Hanabi did something different. Her arms moved, her forefinger and middle finger extended. Blue light reached forth from her fingertips and the roof tiles, when her fingers crossed their paths, were destroyed. "Good job!" Cologne called with a laugh as Hanabi landed on the roof. "How about this! Raging Aura Of The Elders!" Suddenly Cologne's battle aura appeared. It was positively massive. Ranma couldn't move as she bore witness to it. It seemed Hanabi and Hinata alike were similarly held down. "I thought I'd play around with you two for a while but I'm getting tired. You know us elders need our rest, after all." As Cologne walked closer to Hanabi and Hinata they seemed to be forced to their knees, unable to stand under the weight of Cologne's battle aura. Ranma could hardly breath, the aura so heavy as to be tangible. "Go tell your father that I have a score to settle with him. If he wins I'll give up Ranma to one of you. If I win... Well, we'll decide from there what I do to him, alright?"

Hanabi looked up at Cologne, barely able to lift her head from the weight of the aura, Cologne standing right over her know as she was practically laid down flat to the ground. "You... Old Woman..."

"Don't push yourself, little girl. I don't want to get really mean to you just yet."

"Father will--" Hanabi's words were cut off from here as the very roof of the building ripped itself apart under the four people.

Cologne jumped to Ranma and swept her off the roof before she could fall into the rubble. "Oh, too bad, they fell through." Cologne said before giving a hearty laugh.

"Are you insane?!?" Ranma yelled. "You could have killed them, you old ghoul!"

Cologne only laughed more as they touched down. "Dont be silly, they're ninja, they're better than that. Sure they'll have some cuts and bruises but they're both fine. Tell you what, how about you come stay at the cafe for a while! Until all of this has blown over and all. I won't be letting that old Clan Head take my son-in-law away from me."

Ranma and Cologne quickly took leave to The Cat Cafe; home of Shampoo, Cologne and Mousse. Shampoo was, as always, ecstatic about seeing Ranma. As usual, Mousse was less than pleased. Cologne made a quick escape out or the cafe to her challenge with Hyuuga Hiashi and Ranma was left with the two chinese people who she largely wanted nothing to do with. Why did her life have to be so complicated. One gender switch later Ranma and Mousse were in the bathroom, scrubbing each other's back with hatred flowing through the air. Ranma didn't know why he had to deal with this. It wasn't his fault that he had so many promised girls." Now he was at the home of yet another one, one he had been trying to shake for over a year, washing the back of his supposed rival in love, or something like that. "Why does this stuff have to happen to me?" Ranma muttered as he rinsed Mousse's back off, turning around.

"You think you've got it bad?" Mousse muttered, a black eye from Shampoo because of an earlier instance in the day that Ranma hadn't been involved in at all. "At least you're still human when you transform. I'm a duck... I don't know how it could get any worse."

"You could turn into a duck and have a hundred different crazy women after you." Ranma countered with a slight smile. Mousse couldn't help but give a laugh at this. "Hey, Mousse, I gotta say, I really haven't meant to cause you so much trouble all this time. Believe me, I never signed up for Shampoo or Akane or nothin."

Mousse made a strange sound as he scrubbed Ranma's back. "I... I'm sorry for attacking you so much... I guess. But next time you wrong me, it's war, Saotomei Ranma."

Ranma felt the hot water hit his back and stood up with Mousse. They dunked into the spacious bath and both sighed with relief. "Anyway, I hope the old ghoul wins that fight. After all, I don't want to get married off to some crazy Chinese ninjas." Ranma leaned back against the wall and moved his feet around under the water, swishing it around. "Seems too ridiculous for me. Though that stuff they did was pretty amazing," Mousse made a noise of inquiry and Ranma explained. "The taller one, Hinata-chan, did this wierd thing she called a jutsu. She spit hundreds of gallons of water at me and hadn't drunk anything. It was crazy."

"Well, as a magician myself, I can't say it sounds too wierd." Mousse stated. "But that kind of feat would certainly be beyond my skills, at least right now."

"How do ya do that stuff anyway, Mousse?" Ranma asked. "I know you kinda hide stuff in your sleeves and all, but there are so many things that are just too big that you seem to pull out of thin air."

"I wouldn't expect you to understand but I'll try to make it simple." Mousse started, Ranma giving him a look of irritation. "I use dark magic to fold space inside my shirt. What you think is actually quite true. I do pull things right out of thin air, like reaching into another dimension and yanking the item out that I stored earlier. I used to need a focus item, normally my shirt, but now I can just use the air around my body for most things. See?" Mousse waved his hand through the air and from nothing came a sword, which he quickly made disappear by pressing his free hand against the tip and sinking the sword into his palm, clapping his hands together when he had completely hidden the blade. "It's a lot more complicated than I make it look and I wouldn't teach it to anyone if they asked. It's not somethking I would trust anyone to have at their disposal unless I raised them myself." Ranma couldn't grasp folding space or dark magic or anything like that. It was well beyond him. He was fine with just being him and using the power he had to defeat others.

Later that night the three ate. Ranma was extra careful about what he ate because he knew that Shampoo could have been plotting to drug him with something. Anything Shampoo didn't eat he wouldn't eat. It was all very good food as well. That night he retired to a room that was given to him, the feeling of relative security his own on this night. If Shampoo did come in he was sure he could at least fight her off if she did anything funny. Sure enough, as Ranma was just drifting off, no more than thirty minutes after he had tucked in, someone of Shampoo's height, width and general appearance, snuck into the room and loomed over him. Ranma sat bolt upright and yelled out. "Shampoo, get out of here!" Sure enough, it was Shampoo who had tried to sneak into his bed. "I'm not gonna slee--" Ranma's body went tense. He wasn't even able to speak. Coupled with this strange inability to move was a horrible soreness that covered his body like an ocean wave washing over him.

Shampoo reached out and touched Ranma on the shoulder. "Gentle, gentle, Ranma." Ranma made a noise as Shampoo began to push him back down. "You no be able to move now. Shampoo put special powder in Ranma's food. Now he be good husband and let Shampoo do this." As Shampoo pushed Ranma down his whole body ached and shooting pain went through the parts of him that were moving. It was horribly uncomfortable, to say the least.

Ranma managed to get some words out. "What... Did... You..."

"Shhh." Shampoo said, placing her fingers at Ranma's lips. "Chinese Rigormotise Powder. You move well enough soon. Shampoo just have to work out kinks. Ranma worked out his next word as "Why?" Shampoo let out a cute giggle as she stripped off her clothing, the smallest article of clothing Ranma had ever seen on her, a tiny bed dress that hugged tight to her skin and barely reached past her hips. "Shampoo wait too long for Ranma. Now she take into own hands. No can wait with stupid womans girls now." Shampoo felt about Ranma before bending certain joints in his body. Each time he let out a pained groan, though it was soon getting much easier for Shampoo to loosen up his joints as she pulled off his clothes. Granted, Ranma still couldn't move but that blindingly painful ache in his whole body had by now faded to a mildly irritating soreness in just his major joints. "Good." Shampoo whispered as she leaned down against Ranma, her now nude body rubbing against his own. "Now we make love like true husband and wife." Shampoo wasted very little time mounting Ranma, getting into the perfect position before slowly lowering down onto his erect manhood. How had it gotten like that?!? Surely Ranma didn't take pleasure out of Shampoo raping him. Still, she was pretty cute, now that he was looking at her. Slowly Shampoo muttered, "Is Shampoo first time. Be gentle with Shampoo."

That was a laugh. Being gentle would be really easy what with the fact that Ranma couldn't MOVE! Still, it didn't feel all that bad. When Shampoo sunk Ranma's manhood deep into her it was something that couldn't be explained, though if he had to try he would have tried to describe it as such; It was like a part of the body being surrounded by warm water and having that body part massaged at the same time. Despite the fact that this didn't near sum it up completely it was the closest approximation to describing such an activity to anyone who didn't know how the real thing felt. Most of all, it felt good! It felt amazing. As Shampoo rose slowly she let out a slight sigh. Did it feel the same for her? How could it, though? She didn't have the same... parts that Ranma did. Still, shampoo leaned down onto Ranma, her hips still moving with vigor. "Feels good for Shampoo, Ranma." Ranma couldn't help but try to move his arms. It felt wrong just to lay around and let this be done to him, he wanted to some something too. He wanted to do his part in all of this because he was supposed to... wasn't he? It was that kind of thinking that made his body start to move again. His hands, however slowly, reached up and grabbed Shampoo by the hips, pulling her down against him. She gasped, "Ranma?"

Ranma gave a smile. "Don't think you drugged me enough, Shampoo." He forced out. "A guy shouldn't just... lay around like this." With a great feat of force Ranma made himself shove Shampoo down on her back and loomed over her. They were still connected, which was good. Ranma wasn't sure how to "initiate" this kind of thing yet. With a movement of his hips he thrust deep into Shampoo, causing the blue haired amazon to shudder in pleasure and give out a cry.

Ranma had to admit, if he'd known that sex was this good he probably would have tried it out with one of his dozens of fiances a long time ago. Ater all, it wasn't like there was any shortage of women who were after Ranma in the first place. He certainly couldn't count them all on two hands. There was Ukyo, Kodachi, a few of the girls in school, Akane (kind of), a few women who had popped up in Ranma's life pining for his heart before immediately leaving once again. Also, Ranma certainly couldn't forget this one now, there was Shampoo herself, who had just happened to be showing Ranma a good time right that moment. Shampoo reached up and grabbed Ranma about the shoulders, pulling him closer as he made love to her. Why had he ever turned Shampoo down in the first five hundred places? She was really cute and was really a good person so long as you weren't her enemy. So there was the fact that she turned into a cat, a creature that Ranma was deathly afraid of. So long as she didn't change around him this wasn't all so bad. Shampoo spoke into Ranma's ear as he gyrated his hips into hers. "Ranma. I love you. Now we are together." Ranma couldn't help but to kiss Shampoo at that moment. It was all too much. She loved him, he now couldn't help but feel love for her. The coupling was the closest the had ever been to each other. As the kissed Ranma felt a pressure welling up within him, something that needed to burst out. Shampoo wrapped her legs around him to keep him from getting away. "Ranma, Shampoo feel too good!"

Ranma couldn't stop himself and he couldn't pull out. He felt sweet release for the first time, coming into Shampoo as she let out a dulcet cry of ecstasy. The two relaxed soon enough, connected with each other still, even after their coupling. Ranma's throat was dry and he was covered in sweat. Shampoo soon stood up and Ranma followed her into the living room off the house that was behind the cafe proper. "Hey, Shampoo." Ranma muttered as he walked in after the blue haired beauty. "Thanks... for what ya did, ya know?"

Shampoo gave a big smile as she sat down. "Shampoo surprised you able to move. Though Chinese powder keep you down."

"Ya.." Ranma said with an embarrassed grin. "You know me though. I just don't stay down like that." Ranme looked at Shampoo as he put his shirt back on. She was again wearing her night dress; that tiny pink thing that she probably wore every time she slept.

"You... Can go sleep now if you want." Shampoo said "Shampoo no feel tired for some reason."

Ranma thought on this., He didn't really feel tired either, now that all was said and done. "Nah. I'm not tired either."

"As you shouldn't be." A familiar voice filled the room as Ranma and Shampoo turned their heads to the door. Cologne stood with Hyuuga Hiashi himself, both a little worse for wear when you looked at them. "We had our fight and found out something definitely amazing, you two. But first. Son-In-Law, I want you to meet your two new wives!" Hiashi stepped aside silently and Cologne slid sideward to reveal both Hanabi and Hinata behind them.

Shampoo immediately went into hysterics and Ranma wasn't much better. "Great Grandmother!" Shampoo screamed out, racing to Cologne, tears already flowing from her eyes. "How could you lose?!? Shampoo thought you would fight so Ranma and Shampoo be together!"

Cologne rapped her granddaughter on the head with her staff. "Quiet down, you ingrate!" Cologne grabbed Shampoo by the hand and led her over to Ranma. "And, as you know, Son-In -Law, you have your first wife, Shampoo. I hope all four of you have long, happy marriages! I'll make the arrangements right away!"

Ranma was stumped. What had just happened he couldn't imagine. "Uhh..." Was all he could get out before Hiashi spoke up. "I apologize for my actions toward you earlier, Ranma-san. I hadn't yet weighed the possibilities. I was foolish and hasty."

"You see, when we were fighting," Cologne started up, "We both thought of something. Hiashi-san said something about wishing that he could marry off both his daughters to you. I said that I wished I could marry you to all five of my great granddaughters. Then it struck us both at the same time."

"Hyuuga Law states that polygamy is acceptable every ten generations or more." Hiashi spoke up. "And it has been fourteen generations since the last case of it.

"Though it's always been rare, Amazon Law states that polygamy is allowed every fifteen generations and it has been thirty. Though amazon law generally states that women can marry many man there's nothing against a man marrying more than one woman. It's not too specific." Cologne spoke up.

"That said," Hiashi cut in, "We went to ask your father before we made the deal. After all, your family is the third faction of this little incident. Your father, albeit in a confused manner, stated that he didn't believe polygamy has ever occured in your family, which allowed the three families enough leeway to marry into a polygamous circumstance. I'll inform Saotomei-san tomorrow of the details so that we may arrange to take you back to China for proper ceremonies."

"Hey!" Ranma protested. "I didn't sign up for this! Why do I gotta marry three women now?"

Hanabi was the one who "answered" this question by walking up to him and getting on her knees before him, respectfully bowing. "Please take care of me and my Sister, Ranma-sama. I look forward to the many years I can please you and the many children I may bring you in our marriage."

This was all too much. "What about Pops?"

"What about him?" Cologne asked

"I assure you, Saotomei will be made to agree to it after tonight. As for your other fiance, the laws of our families don't state that another family may be brought into things. You may marry Tendo-san's daughter if you still wish it."

"I never said that!" Ranma yelled out. "Why do you old people gotta be so annoying?!? I didn't ask to get married off like this!"

"Ah, Son-In-Law, don't be so shy. It's not like we don't know the kind of time you have just shared with Shampoo. Hyuuga eyes see everything and this old gal isn't senile. I know the sounds of love making in the late night hours."

Hinata, who was still standing shyly in the doorway, went completely red and faded out to the side. A thump was heard and Ranma couldn't have guessed what she was doing now. Hanabi grabbed Ranma's hand. "Ranma-sama, please do me the honor of giving myself to you this night as has your other wife already."

Ranma pulled his hand away and made to yell at Hanabibut Hiashi spoke up first. "Hanabi, please do not rush into things." he said, "Now that you and Ranma are to be married there will be plenty of time for consumation after you are wed. In the mean time, let us retire to the Kuno estate once again. The night air isn't good for young women such as yourself. It spoils the beauty of females."

Hanabi looked back at her father before bowing once again to Ranma and running out the door. Ranma stood dumbstruck as Shampoo wrapped her arms around him from behind. Cologne just laughed. Where was Mousse? It wasn't like he was any kind of voice of reason but at least he wasn't quite this insane. Aside from that, Ranma could have used a good beating right about now to see if this was a nightmare or not.

{HR}

There ya have it! To be hnest I didn't like the lemon I made. It didn't have enough passion or details or anything like that. However, I gotta say, weren't you all surprised that Shampoo got the lemon this time around? Bet you thought it would be some steamy threesome between Ranma, Hanabi and Hinata, didn't ya? Sorry people, I had to do it XP Don't worry, though! That steamy threesome WILL happen, just not yet! Also, I bet none of you saw the twin situation coming. What with Hinata being seventeen I didn't want Ranma to marry a twelve year old but I still wanted Hanabi to be a major part in the story, since I like her as a romantic object in harem stories invollving sexy Hyuugas XD So I made Hinata and Hanabi fraternal twins! They are kind of like the polar opposites in this story, Ranma's perfect pair for variety. Hanabi is the perfectly independant, tough and agressive wife who is slim and short while Hinata is the shy, meek, submissive one with a bit more meat on her bones and stands taller than Hanabi, despite her dependant nature.

For those of you who, after reading the last couple paragraphs, rejoiced at the chance of Ranma and Akane getting together, I am sorry to tell you that it's not gonna happen. Fist of all, despite the fact that I like the whole "Akane and Ranma romance thing" going on, there's no way Akane would stand for it and I have always hated that Akane is such a royal bitch to Ranma for things that aren't his fault. No, another Tendo sister comes to mind when I think "Ideal Tendo For Ranma." Bet ya can't guess who it is, huh? Xp

For those of you who wondered how I would get a harem together for Ranma, I hope I surprised ya. I know it's pretty lame but Polygamy, believe it or else, has been a widely accepted practice in old world cultures until just recently when modern western culture came in with quaint but unrealistic ideas like Monogamy and stupid stuff like that. Not dogging on monogamy, really, I just don't support it as well as most people do, though I gotta say, I am pretty much monogamous myself. I stay true to any girl stupid enough to have me XD

BTW, this won't be the only pair of twins ion the manga. In fact, there will be at least one more pair, an identical one. After all, twins are no real fun if they aren't identical Xp

Also, I hope nobody minded the whole messing with pronouns between Ranma's changing XP That's how it's gonna be cause I, in my newfound insanity, like to be confusing XD

I hope you enjoyed reading the first chapter of The Anything Goes Harem as much as I didn't like writing it. I got off to a rerally slow, half mused start and it took me near a month to get it done with after binging on Ranma ½ mangas and anime for like... five days straight XD

Yours,

Tankou001


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